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Michelle Obama Is Going To China To Convince Asians That Education Is Important

By , March 3, 2014. (76 comments)

First Lady Michelle Obama will travel to China later this month on a vital diplomatic mission. She’s been tasked with selling the Chinese people on the virtues of education. Yeah, you read that right. She’s going to try to convince Asians that getting a good education is important.

I guess Barack Obama and Secretary of State John Kerry figured Michelle was the right person for the job considering how good she is at preaching to the choir. After all, she’s the one that spent taxpayer money to convince people to drink water. Why not send her to China so she can tell the Chinese that education will help them compete economically.

It’s not like China isn’t an economic powerhouse or anything. Oh wait, it is. They are kicking everybody’s ass in the global market, so it is possible that they’ve already figured out that education makes you more competitive.

Also, let’s face it; Asians generally excel in school. This is not some kind of racial stereotype; it’s a fact. Asian parents push their kids hard. They already place an importance on academics. Asians are among the top-achieving students at every major university in the U.S. They don’t need additional prodding.

Really though, this important mission is all about Michelle.

“I’ll be focusing on the power and importance of education, both in my own life and in the lives of young people in both of our countries,” she wrote on the White House blog.

She plans on boring the Chinese people with stories about how she grew up poor but somehow ended up getting degrees from Princeton and Harvard. Much like her husband, who has degrees from Columbia and Harvard, anyone can attend prestigious Ivy League schools if you can mysteriously get someone to pay for it.

This weeklong visit to China looks like another monster expenditure for the American people. Accompanying Michelle will be daughters Sasha and Malia as well as the First Mother-in-law Marion Robinson, who for some reason actually lives at the White House. Barack is sitting this one out because he doesn’t really like doing presidential things, and he probably needs a break from the gyno-centric pecking order in his household.

Millions were spent so Michelle could convince children that school lunches are disgusting. Million more so she could let people know that drinking water is an essential component to staving off thirst. Now, an untold fortune to get Asians interested in education. What’s next? Will she travel to New Delhi to let Indians know that curry is a wonderful spice?

I guess we shouldn’t blame Michelle for trying to sell snow to an Eskimo. She’s just copying what she sees her husband doing. For five years in a row Barrack has been convincing gun owners to buy more guns. It’s just in the Obamas nature.