I guess Al Franken got sick of grabbing boobs and butts (he didn’t) and wants to grab his old Senate seat back. The disgraced former Minnesota Senator was forced to resign after several allegations of sexual misconduct surfaced, including a picture of him grabbing a woman’s breasts as she slept. Now however, he thinks he’s paid for his sins and is ready to get back in the game. In an interview he said he’s thinking about running for office again.
Franked gave a speech at the opening of the Bug-O-Nay-Ge-Shig High School on an Indian reservation. Seriously? That’s the name of a high school? I bet their mascot is a bug.
In any case, following this speech, Franken talked with WCCO and was asked if he misses being a US Senator:
“I miss the whole job. I loved that job, I loved the job as Senator. … It was very meaningful for me and bittersweet, I would like to still be there,” said Franken.
Franken was then asked if he has any plans to run for office again.
“Well, see, if I say anything there you will put it in the story. I don’t know. I haven’t ruled it out, and I haven’t ruled it in,” Franken responded.
That’s democrat-speak for “F*ck yeah, I’m running for office again.” There isn’t a person on the planet who can look at that quote and not see that Franken plans on getting back into politics.
The problem is, Tina Smith, a woman, took Franken’s seat when he resigned and she probably doesn’t want to give it back to him. Maybe he can chase her around the state house trying to touch her inappropriately until she has had enough and resigns. Franked does have a very particular set of skills for this kind of operation.
To be fair, Franken doesn’t specifically indicate that he’s going to try to get his old job as US Senator back, just that he wants to seek office of some kind. I mentioned bikini inspector in my headline, but I’m not sure that is an elected position. It may be something he can do on the side, but he needs a real elected office to feel whole again.
This is going to be tough. I checked around and motorboater, nipple-tweeker, and ass-grabber aren’t real things either. “The Rapist” is a real thing if you take out the space and make it “therapist” but it’s not an elected position and Franken would need a better resumé than guy who used to write for Saturday Night Live. It would give him an opportunity to take advantage of vulnerable female patients but I’m pretty sure a degree in psychology is required.
Bullshit-artist is an elected position, but that’s just a fancy way of saying democrat and that brings us back to the problem that Franken’s old seat is occupied by a fellow BSer. Maybe he should run for the local school board. This would put him in direct contact with lots of female teachers and high schoolers. It would be the best of both worlds for him and his sexual predation.