Hillary Clinton may struggle to capture Obama’s coalition of special interest groups, but she’s putting together a nice motley crew of weirdos all on her own. First, she nabbed the UFO conspiracy theorists, then she picked up the crucial gay guys that like getting sodomized vote, and now prostitutes are showing their support. Sex workers from a legal Nevada brothel have formed a pro-Hillary group to help her gain the White House in 2016. I wonder if Bill had anything to do with this endorsement.
The Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Carson City, NV has launched the Hookers 4 Hillary Campaign with a website and…well I guess it’s just a website.
Prostitutes at Dennis Hof’s world famous “Moonlite Bunny Ranch” legal brothel in Carson City, Nevada are banding together to announce their support of the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign. Following Clinton’s formal announcement, the sex workers launched their “Hookers For Hillary” initiative, drafting a four-point platform to explain their endorsement:
And while Hillary refuses to state where she stands on virtually every issue, the hookers are confident that she will support these vital prostitution-related matters:
*Protecting health care reform
Hillary Clinton, as part of her husband’s administration, envisioned health care reform in the 1990’s, long before President Obama was able to sign it into law. The Affordable Health Care Act made health insurance available for the first time ever to the 500 independent contractors employed by Dennis Hof. With any Republican nominee likely to work for its’ repeal, the Bunnies want to protect the quality health coverage that they now enjoy.
It seems like legal prostitutes should make enough money to buy their own health insurance, but hey, it’s always better when someone else pays your bills.
*Foreign policy experience
As Secretary Of State, Hillary Clinton gained invaluable experience negotiating with foreign leaders, and the Bunnies can definitely relate to negotiating through a language barrier. The Bunny Ranch entertains customers from all around the globe, and the girls have great respect for any woman who can take powerful men from oppressive cultures and make them bend to her will. With her eye on the international landscape, the Bunnies are confident that President Hillary Clinton would also avoid a repeat of the Secret Service’s Colombian prostitution scandal by making sure that her detail “buys American.”
Benghazi, underestimating Putin, Libya, Syria, ISIS, Yemen, etc… Yeah, Hillary is a foreign policy dynamo.
*Support for agencies that protect the public’s health
Nevada’s mandatory testing of legal prostitutes for sexually transmitted diseases is a successful example of effective government regulation. While Republican candidates have questioned the need for agencies like Health and Human Services (HHS) & the Food And Drug Administration (FDA), the Bunnies applaud Hillary’s recognition of the fact that responsible government oversight is a key to protecting the public’s health from widespread disease.
Or you could just use condoms and/or not be employed as someone that has sex with strangers for money. There are way cheaper ways to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases than funding bloated federal agencies that basically do nothing.
*Prevention of a return to supply side economics
Bill Clinton presided over the most prosperous time in Bunny Ranch history, which coincided with a tax increase on the wealthiest Americans such as brothel owner Dennis Hof. The Bunnies recognize that thriving economies are built from the bottom up, where the vast majority of their clients originate. A return to relying on the disproven theory of trickle-down economics would only serve to exclude the vast majority of hard-working Bunny Ranch clients from having the discretionary income to enjoy with their favorite Bunny.
Isn’t it curious that prostitution did so well under Bill Clinton? Coincidence? I think not.
With this key endorsement from hookers, Hillary is one step closer to the White House. I understand she is courting the United Crackhead Association, the Malevolent Cop-Killers Organization, and the Disability And Welfare Fraud Consortium. The freaks of America could really help elect Hillary Clinton if any of them actually voted.