I get that comparing black people to apes is racist and understand why people lose their jobs when they do it. A few years ago a county official in West Virginia was suspended for calling Michelle Obama an “ape in heels.” But what if someone were to suggest that the former first lady isn’t a lady at all? A California District Attorney is in trouble for saying that Michelle has a penis. This isn’t racist (other than any Obama criticism is racist according to the left) and there might be a kernel of truth in there.
The San Bernardino Sun reports that San Bernardino County Deputy District Attorney Michael Selyem is under investigation for a series of “offensive” and hilarious social media posts. Like for instance this one:
Selyem also posted a doctored picture of Michelle Obama holding a sign saying, “Trump grabbed my penis.”
Unfortunately Selyem’s social media accounts have all been deleted and the news didn’t get a screen shot of this very funny thing. The Interwebz are full of pics and memes showing Michelle Obama sporting an unsightly bulge and inexplicable Adam’s apple. The point is, there is some compelling evidence out there that Michelle is hiding (unsuccessfully) a secret.
Another social media post that has Selyem in hot water is this one about California Rep. Maxine Waters:
Of Waters, Selyem said: “Being a loud-mouthed c#nt in the ghetto you would think someone would have shot this bitch by now …”
While this is definitely not offensive, there is some flawed logic at work. Yes, Maxine Waters represents a very dangerous area of Southern California where people are shot all the time, she doesn’t actually live in the district. Instead, she lives in a big mansion in a much nicer part of Los Angeles.
Here, Selyem isn’t saying he wants to shoot Waters or that someone else should. It’s not a death threat by any stretch of the imagination. He’s merely expressing his disbelief that it hasn’t already happened. It is a fact that when you mouth off in the hood, you are likely to get shot.
Based on these funny factual social media posts, Selyem may be looking at some discipline:
The District Attorney’s Office has been aware of the posts since June 25, when someone in the office complained. Since then, Selyem has been the subject of an internal investigation, sources said.
Some already have called for Selyem’s termination, saying the posts were not only offensive, unprofessional and beneath the dignity of a public prosecutor, but that anyone who publicly espouses such sentiments cannot impartially administer justice.
How does thinking Michelle Obama has a penis keep this guy from being able to do his job? He prosecutes gangs and is head of the anti-gang task force. Even if he was leading the transgender task force (if there is such a thing) his views on Michelle Obama’s possible penis indicates that he’s at least willing to acknowledge sometimes men are women and women are men.
There was this completely absurd line in the report when the reporter was trying to describe what Selyem’s duties are:
Selyem, a 50-year-old resident of Placentia, is the lead attorney in a unit tasked with cracking down on criminal gang activity that surged as members moved inland from Los Angeles County in search of more affordable housing.
Really? That’s how the news describes gangs taking over and devastating communities? They’re just looking for affordable housing? Under that logic, gang rape is an attempt to start a family and gang murder is reducing the community’s carbon footprint.
I think we can all agree that San Bernardino County will attempt to fire Michael Selyem over this. If that happens I really hope he sues the county for wrongful termination, because that means we will have a court case that argues the merits of Michelle Obama having a penis and Maxine Waters being a load-mouthed c*nt. Once it’s proven in a court of law it’s legal precedent and an irrefutable fact.