You may have noticed that out-of-work comedian Chelsea Handler is a mess, but her latest tweet is catastrophe even by her low standards. She tried to use science to make a point that only she understands. As far as I can tell her message is that unless you become gay or brown, you are going to go extinct. That’s probably way off, but I defy any of you to make more sense of this.
After her traditional mimosa and grain alcohol breakfast, the Resistance leader sent out this unsolicited opinion:
It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. -Charles Darwin. The world is getting browner and gayer, so everyone needs to hop on board, or go live in a hole.
— Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) February 12, 2018
“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change. -Charles Darwin. The world is getting browner and gayer, so everyone needs to hop on board, or go live in a hole,” wrote Handler.
That’s not actually a Charles Darwin quote or even a paraphrasing of his ideas and yet somehow that’s the thing that’s least wrong with this tweet. As you can see Handler says we all need to hop on the brown gay train or we are not welcome in her society any longer. However in the context of the fake Darwin quote she seems to be saying that white straight people will go extinct because they are not equipped to survive like minority homosexuals.
Here’s some actual science: gay people are incapable of reproducing and if everyone were gay the human race would be extinct in a generation. The only way gay people can survive is if there are straight people to make more of them. It really doesn’t get any more simple than that.
I’m equally intrigued by Handler’s command that we all need to hop on board of this brown gay thing. How do we do that? I guess people could just become gay, but I was under the impression that homosexuality was inborn and not a choice. As for becoming brown, there has to be an opposite to the procedure Michael Jackson used to turn white. However I don’t think minorities are going to be very happy with a bunch of white people “culturally appropriating” their skin color.
While it would be hilarious for Chelsea Handler to try and explain this tweet, it would be infinitely funnier if she actually attempted to do what she’s telling us to do. Who wouldn’t want to see her drunk ass transform into sassy gay Jamaican or a super-butch Puerto Rican dyke? There wouldn’t be anything offensive about that because she’s a woke-ass liberal white elitist and they can do no wrong.
Maybe I’m trying to read to much into this. With Handler’s substance abuse problems, crippling emotional distress, and liberal lunacy, this could just be her attempt to order a pizza that got away from her. Whatever Handler’s meaning, one thing is clear: she’s has a lot of hatred for straight white people. Actually that’s probably related to her issues in that she’s a big ugly sack of self-loathing. I’m am kind of glad she shares this with the rest of us though.