Let’s file this one under: sometimes life is not fair. Barack and Michelle Obama just landed a $60 million book deal. The two laziest most worthless people on the planet are going to be rich beyond most people’s wildest dreams to write a pair of books that nobody cares about or will ever read. And, in all likelihood, these books will be ghost-written so they’re cashing in on zero effort.
The NY Post reports:
The bidding war over Barack and Michelle Obama’s book deal skyrocketed to more than $60 million before Penguin Random House was crowned the winner on Tuesday night.
The publisher announced that the pair had signed with them after reportedly delivering the highest bid earlier in the day.
“We are very much looking forward to working together with President and Mrs. Obama to make each of their books global publishing events of unprecedented scope and significance,” said Penguin Random House CEO Markus Dohle.
Are you throwing up a little in your mouth yet? If not, this should do it:
“With their words and their leadership, they changed the world, and every day, with the books we publish at Penguin Random House, we strive to do the same,” continued Dohle.
Leadership? Changed the world? This guy knows he’s talking about do-nothing golf-addict Barrack Obama and “spend taxpayer money on parties and vacations” Michelle Obama, right? The only thing either them have changed is the complexion of American politics from democrat to Republican and the only thing they’ve led is the demise of their own political party.
Apparently this deal is for two books: one from Barack and one from Michelle, so that’s presumably $30 million per book. I’m no accountant, but this is a ridiculously bad deal for the publisher. Barack has already written a bunch of books and they haven’t come close to making that kind of money.
Barack’s Dreams from My Father and The Audacity of Hope brought in a total of $15.6 million in sales. What are the chances that a new book from him is going to do better than his previous two books? Also, what does Michelle have to add here? If at all possible, she is less interesting than him. There is no way in hell that two books from the Obama’s are going to bring in $60 million in sales, and even if they did, that still wouldn’t create a profit for the publisher.
Penguin Random House would do much better if the put all of that money into a CD or even just bought $60 million worth of lottery tickets.
The only way these two books get any interest is if Barack finally admits that he’s a Kenyan-born Muslim and Michelle includes a picture of his/her big veiny dong. People barely read books anymore and the Obama’s are actually very boring people. I’m sure a certain number of liberal fan-boys/girls will buy these books, but that isn’t going to translate into massive sales.
Like I said, sometimes life isn’t fair. Barack Obama is a lazy bum who has never had a real job in his life. He skated through life with others paying for it and became President of the United States despite a complete lack of qualifications. After doing a completely shitty job, he’s now making bank with a $60 million pay day.