Hillary Clinton has been desperately trying to become President of the United States pretty much since her pervert husband left the position in 2000. Unfortunately for her, people hate her and she sucks at running a campaign. In some exciting news, there is another planet (not really) called Earth 2 and Hillary is in fact the POTUS there. If this sounds like the most pathetic thing yet in Hillary’s post-election denial, that’s because it is.
Astronomers just found a planet where Hillary Clinton is president. Here’s what she’s up to in Earth 2’s White House pic.twitter.com/jzT0WRnUju
— NowThis (@nowthisnews) November 18, 2017
Hillary did an interview with Now This because even the liberal mainstream media is sick of her. The interviewer talked about a joke people tell in which Hillary won the election on Earth 2. The interviewer then says he wants her to pretend this is a real thing, but she is already there.
“We may have just found it,” said Hillary excitedly. “You know, we may have just found it — just in time.”
From there, the interviewer wants Hillary to discuss various issues as if she is the president of Earth 2 and she is more than willing to “play along.” She tackles things like North Korea, gun control, and the opioid crisis with her usually bullshit. As president of Earth 2, she would throw rhetoric and money at everything.
At one point, Hillary’s off-screen handler tries to put an end to this ridiculous exercise, but she’s having so much fun that she insists on continuing.
“You want one more? I’ll be short. One more? Besides I like being on Earth 2,” said Hillary with just a little bit too much seriousness.
And of course Hillary never has a short answer so she rambled on and on. The biggest thing Earth 2 Hillary would do is get to the bottom of Russian interference with the 2016 election. Really? On Earth 2 Hillary won. Why would she waste time on this thing that she knows is nothing but an excuse for why she blew the election on Regular Earth? She’s either dumb or psychotic to think this would be an issue for the Earth 2 Hillary Clinton administration.
This Earth 2 place sounds a lot like “Opposite Day” in planetary form. If Hillary actually won the presidency there, up is down, left is right, and people eat soup with a fork. I did some research on Earth 2 and found some other interesting facts about this opposite planet.
1. The Detroit Lions are a championship-winning football dynasty.
2. Smash Mouth and Nickleback are the 2 most respected bands on the planet.
3. The cable guy shows up at the exact time he said he would.
4. Lena Dunham, Rosie O’Donnell, and Michael Moore are in a “thin people who say intelligent things” club.
5. Amy Schumer is funny on purpose.
6. Keeping criminals out of jail reduces the crime rate.
7. Government dependency turns poor people into highly successful rich people.
8. High taxes and stifling regulations really do improve the economy.
9. Democrats are appalled when one of their own sexually assaults a woman.
10. Hillary Clinton isn’t full of shit.
The saddest thing of all comes at the end of this embarassment when Hillary begs the interviewer, “Let’s go to Earth 2.” She wants that presidency so bad that she has actually convinced herself there is an alternate realty where she won the election.