Following the school shooting in Parkland, FL Republicans proposed the idea of putting more armed resource officers in schools as well as arming and training teachers as a way to keep students safe. Democrats countered with the narratives that “more guns” is schools only makes students less safe and that good guys with guns can’t possibly stop bad guys with guns. These things are completely false, but some people actually believe the crap that liberals try to push. With that in mind, a school in Pennsylvania has decided the best way to deal with a school shooter is to arm students with rocks. I am not making this up.
SCHUYLKILL COUNTY, Pa. — There’s a rocky controversy when it comes to school safety in Schuylkill County.
The superintendent of the Blue Mountain School District is in the spotlight after telling lawmakers in Harrisburg his students protect themselves against potential school shooters with rocks.
“Every classroom has been equipped with a five-gallon bucket of river stone. If an armed intruder attempts to gain entrance into any of our classrooms, they will face a classroom full students armed with rocks and they will be stoned,” Dr. David Helsel said.
I think the superintendent is stoned if he thinks this is a viable plan. What is he a doctor of? Does he have a PhD in nonsense or getting kids killed? If so, what college offers these post-graduate degrees?
“At one time I just had the idea of river stone, they`re the right size for hands, you can throw them very hard and they will create or cause pain, which can distract,” said Dr. Helsel.
Just because you have an idea doesn’t mean it’s a good one. Especially the stuff people come up with when they smoke weed. I’m surprised he isn’t making every student eat an entire tube of raw cookie dough to ward off the bad vibes of a potential school shooter.
…if a teacher decides to lockdown a classroom, there are rocks in a five-gallon bucket kept in every classroom closet that students could throw if shooters get inside.
Oddly enough, this harebrained scheme is resonating with everyone:
A teenager who is a senior a Blue Mountain High School and says he and other students like that plan.
“It matters because it will help protect the schools, anything helps, rocks are better than books and pencils.”
And yet, way way worse than an armed resource officer or teacher.
“At this point, we have to get creative, we have to protect our kids first and foremost, throwing rocks, it’s an option,” said parent Dori Bornstein.
This isn’t one of those things where people need to think outside of the box and it doesn’t call for creative “solutions.” It’s actually quite simple and the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre put it in a very concise and easy-to-understand way: “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.” That is some solid advice but “don’t bring a rock to a gunfight” is even better. “Rock” has a 66.6% chance of not losing in a game of rock/paper/scissors. “Rock” has somewhere near a 0% chance of not losing in a game of school shooter.
I have no idea what the political affiliation is of this superintendent, but I would be shocked if he isn’t a democrat. This smacks of a liberal solution. It defies commonsense and is completely ineffective. The only thing missing an unreasonable price tag. Then again, the school district probably had to buy the buckets and maybe even the rocks, so there you go.