Democrats like to call themselves the “party of science” because they think it gives them even more reason to act morally and intellectually superior to the rest of us common dirtbags, so I’m sure they will embrace this new blockbuster scientific discovery. It turns out that liberals are far uglier than conservatives. This isn’t much of a revelation to anyone with eyes, but the fact that it is now a matter of science should have democrats celebrating the findings and of course introducing some kind of knee-jerk legislation to fix the problem.
“The right look: Conservative politicians look better and voters reward it” was published on Sciencedirect.com so you know it’s legitimately sciencey. Here’s the abstract:
Since good-looking politicians win more votes, a beauty advantage for politicians on the left or on the right is bound to have political consequences. We show that politicians on the right look more beautiful in Europe, the United States and Australia.
The researchers showed pictures of political candidates and lawmakers, asking participates to rate them on a five-point attractiveness scale. What they found was the people thought conservative politicians were way more good looking.
Liberals shouldn’t be too down on the findings because they come with some seriously liberal bullshit as well. The researchers claim that attractive people drift to the conservative side of things because as beautiful people their lives are easy and thus they have no empathy for others who struggle.
Seriously, this comes off like a Democratic Party manifesto. The study says that attractive people are generally richer than their ugly counterparts and therefore don’t care about social welfare programs and redistribution of wealth schemes championed by liberals. As if that isn’t bad enough, the researchers say that sexy conservatives are treated better than everyone else so they have no interest in making the world more fair and equal.
The study stops short of drawing the companion conclusion that ugly people drift to liberalism because they feel like life is unfair and the world owes them something for their misfortune.
I found at least one flaw in the conclusions the researchers have drawn from the data. They repeatedly say that attractive conservatives are always elected in “low information settings.” They claim the study “showed that the positive relationship between votes and an appealing appearance is most pronounced among voters with low political knowledge who also watch a lot of TV.”
In America at least, liberal voters and supporters are the most low-information people in the country. The Democratic Party relies on people’s ignorance to win elections, which hasn’t been working out too well lately. Liberalism in general is an emotional plea to stupid people with a complete disregard of the facts.
While the conclusions are suspect, you can’t argue with the raw data: liberals are ugly. If you ever wondered why Michelle Obama is a democrat, it’s because she looks like a man. Science has proven that Dianne Feinstein is a gun-grabbing leftist because she resembles some kind of bridge-guarding troll. Dog-faced Elizabeth Warren is a progressive pain-in-the-ass due to the fact that no one else would have her. I’m not being cruel here, this is science.