As an 83-year-old Republican Senator from Utah, Orrin Hatch is as straight-laced as they come. You certainly wouldn’t expect him to be fun, let alone pro-weed, but he is both of those things and more. In one seriously hilarious and pun-ladden statement, the stiffest-looking guy in Congress gave his support to medical marijuana. No, seriously.
On Wednesday, Hatch announced he was introducing a bill that would remove legal barriers to medical marijuana research. Get ready for this:
“It’s high time to address research into medical marijuana. Our country has experimented with a variety of state solutions without properly delving into the weeds on the effectiveness, safety, dosing, administration, and quality of medical marijuana. All the while, the federal government strains to enforce regulations that sometimes do more harm than good.” said Hatch. (my emphasis)
Pretty great, right? Well there was more:
“To be blunt, we need to remove the administrative barriers preventing legitimate research into medical marijuana, which is why I’ve decided to roll out the MEDS Act,” Hatch continued.
And this kept on going:
“I urge my colleagues to join Senator Schatz and me in our joint effort to help thousands of Americans suffering from a wide-range of diseases and disorders. In a Washington at war with itself, I have high hopes that this bipartisan initiative can be a kumbaya moment for both parties,” finished Hatch.
This is a real statement. It’s on his website and everything.
The bill was co-authored by Sen. Brian Schatz (D-HI), which makes it seem weird that Hatch didn’t work “Maui Wowie” into his statement.
According to The Hill this bill…
…would streamline the process for approving research on medical marijuana and would direct Attorney General Jeff Sessions to “increase the national marijuana quota in a timely manner to meet the changing medical, scientific, and industrial needs for marijuana.”
The bill already had several co-sponsors or “Buds” if you will including Senator Chris Coons (D-DE), Senator Cory Gardner (R-CO), and Senator Thom Tillis (R-NC).
See, it’s not just a pipe dream that there can be bi-partisan cooperation in Washington, despite what the news papers say. Okay, I’ll stop.
I think this is great. Not only is Congress doing something about the stupid laws regarding marijuana (though they should go further) but Orrin Hatch just showed that old white Republicans aren’t as uptight as the left would have us believe.
The only question now is, how do angry liberals spin this into an catastrophe? As you know, everything the GOP does is evil. My guess is they will go with racism: “How dare a white guy use slang terminology when marijuana use is historically linked to black people?” Cultural appropriation will plug in so easily here for the liberal lunatics who need a constant source of outrage.