If you ever watched Shaquille O’Neal try to shoot a free throw, it looked like he was trying to flip a pancake into the basket. I always though it was because he just sucked at free throws, but suddenly this makes perfect sense. He clearly has issues with globes, spheres, or anything with three dimensions. It turns out, Shaq is part of the growing black athlete movement that believes the Earth is flat.
On his podcast, this actually came out of O’Neal’s mouth:
“It’s true. The Earth is flat. The Earth is flat. Yes, it is. Listen, there are three ways to manipulate the mind; what you read, what you see, and what you hear. In school, the first thing they teach us is: ‘Oh, Columbus discovered America’ but when he got there, there were some fair-skinned people with long hair smoking peace pipes. So what does that tell you? Columbus didn’t discover America,” said Shaq.
Shall never really says who these white pot-smoking hippies Columbus encountered were, but in the grand scheme of things that’s the least of the problems with this. In case this isn’t already sciencey enough to sway you, check this out:
“So, listen, I drive from coast to coast and this shit is flat to me. I’m just saying. I drive from Florida to California all the time and it’s flat to me. I do not go up and down at a 360-degree angle and all that stuff about gravity,” he continued.
So I guess if there was a loop somewhere on the I-10 between Florida and California, Shaq would believe the Earth is round. I could point out that driving 2,000 miles on a sphere that is 24,901 miles in circumference, one is unlikely to experience 360-degrees of “up and down” but that might confuse him. Also, did he just say he doesn’t believe in gravity?
Finally Shaq seals the deal with even more science:
“Have you looked outside Atlanta lately and seen all these buildings? You mean to tell me that China is under us? It’s not. The world is flat,” concluded Shaq.
Did you get that? Because there are buildings in Atlanta, it would be impossible for China to be on the other side of the globe so therefore the Earth is flat. I don’t even know what to say.
Shaq joins Cleveland Cavaliers star Kyrie Irving who said, “This is not even a conspiracy theory. The Earth is flat. The Earth is flat. … It’s right in front of our faces. I’m telling you, it’s right in front of our faces. They lie to us.”
As well as Draymond Green of the Golden State Warriors, Wilson Chandler of the Denver Nuggets, and Minnesota Vikings WR Stefon Diggs.
I don’t know if this a race thing where black people believe because the white man says the Earth is round it must be a lie, or if it’s just a result of the widespread legalization of marijuana. Whatever the case, many high-profile black athletes honestly believe the Earth is flat. I don’t think there’s ever been a better example of why kids should stay in school instead of turning pro after a year of two of college.