MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow had a brief reign at the top of the cable news ratings, but liberals are losing interest in politics and Fox News is back in the lead. In related news, a person who looks suspiciously like Rachel Maddow has been defecating in people’s front yards in Colorado Springs. Could these two things be related? Is Maddow taking her message of shit directly to the people? Probably not, but I have a feeling the serial pooper is a big fan Rachel’s.
CBS Denver reports that there is a short haired female jogger loose in Colorado Springs, who likes to break up her run by taking a dump in people’s yards. Cathy Budde says her kids first caught the woman “in mid-squat” in their yard and came running to tell their mother.
“They are like, ‘There’s a lady taking a poop!’ So I come outside, and I’m like … ‘are you serious?’” Budde said to the woman. “‘Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids?!’ She’s like, ‘Yeah, sorry!’”
Budde said that this woman has been crapping in yards in her neighborhood at least once a week for the past 7 weeks. She and her neighbors have nicknamed her the “Mad Pooper.” Budde added that their are plenty of public restrooms within a block of their house so she doesn’t feel like this public shitting is the result of unavoidable urgency. She said she thinks it is intentional.
“Two other times we’ve caught her – caught her yesterday – she changed up her time a little bit because she knew I was watching,” Budde said.
The police are now involved and are trying to identify the Mad Pooper.
“It’s abnormal, it’s not something I’ve seen in my career. For someone to repeatedly do such a thing … it’s uncharted territory for me,” Sgt. Johnathan Sharketti of the Colorado Springs Police Department said.
Luckily, Budde was able to snap a picture of the woman who is painting the town brown:
As you can see, the Mad Pooper definitely has a Rachel Maddow vibe going with the short lesbian hair and general man-like appearance. I can’t say for sure it is Maddow, but then agian can she account for her whereabouts during the shit attacks? Does anyone know if she has been spending time in Colorado lately?
I honestly believe this campaign of crap is Trump related. Like maybe this woman jogger is a hardcore member of the “Resistance” and the houses she’s shitting in front of have MAGA signs or maybe even just American flags. This wouldn’t be out of character for feminist Trump-hating lunatics. There was a call earlier this year for feminists to mail their urine to Trump, so defecating on Trump supporters lawns wouldn’t be that far off.
One thing I feel certain about is that the woman in the picture, even if it isn’t Rachel Maddow, is definitely a liberal. That is not a conservative woman by any stretch of the imagination. That is not conservative hair and that is not conservative behavior.
The real shame here is that this took place in Colorado Springs and not Denver, where public defecation is a celebrated civil right. I’m not even kidding, Denver recently decriminalized shitting in the streets, which would presumably also include front yards.