Facing historic defeats and a complete loss of power nationally and at the state level, the democrats are desperately searching for a message that resonates with American voters. Luckily the Democratic National Committee elected whacked-out insaniac Tom Perez to lead that charge. I’m not kidding when I say the DNC has settled on profanity as their “winning” strategy to take back power in this country.
On several occasions Tom Perez has shouted angrily that “Republicans don’t give a shit about people.” Because the braintrust that delivered all branches of the government to the GOP continues to wander aimlessly in the world of politics, this is now the official DNC message. In fact, they are selling t-shirts reading: Democrats give a shit about people.
At face value, this looks like the democrats have simply given up, but there is a hidden genius behind this campaign. In that spirit, I’d like to present some other profanity-laced slogans the democrats can use to help people forget what an awful and out of touch party they are:
1. Abortions! Fuck yeah!
2. Vote for us, assholes.
3. Democrats: Bullshitting since 1828.
4. If you ain’t blue, fuck you!
5. Only dicks believe in the Constitution.
6. Stop thinking so much, cocksucker.
7. It’s not your money; it’s our money you silly cunt.
8. Let rich white people help you check your white fucking privilege.
9. Chill out, dickwad (oops, that a Terminator catch-phrase) Let’s go with: Lazy, hazy, and batshit crazy.
10. Welcome to the clusterfuck.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Hillary Clinton make a big deal about how inappropriate it was for Donald Trump to say he wanted to “Bomb the shit out of ISIS”? If memory serves me, she made this an integral part of her campaign and even made a TV commercial out of it. My how times have changed.
During the presidential campaign Michelle Obama said “When they go low, we go high.” I can see that Tom Perez heard her loud and clear because obviously the DNC is choosing the “high road” with their snappy slogans of “Republicans don’t give a shit about people” and “Democrats give a shit about people.”
The funny thing, well funnier than the fact that the DNC has chosen this as their message, is that this is a complete lie. Republicans do care about people and that’s why the people have given them control of the House, the Senate, and the White House. It’s democrats who don’t give a shit about people. Well, most people anyways. If you work, are white, heterosexual, Christian, own a gun, or own a business, the democrats couldn’t care less about you and actually consider you the enemy.