The list of stupid things you can’t bring on an airplane just got a little longer and a lot more stupid. Apparently you can’t bring your own hand if it is pointing. The TSA detained a college student for making a “finger gun” gesture recently. I think we all feel much safer knowing that the brave men and women of the TSA are cracking down on terrorist hand gestures.
Buzzfeed has this report from the frontlines of the war on terrorism:
Diana Durkin is a 19-year-old from Houston. She’s a sophomore at Texas Tech University…
Diana has always had a lot of school spirit…So when she got to Texas Tech, she said totally embraced her new school and all their customs and traditions.
Diana explained that Texas Tech fans say “wreck em’ and guns up” to each other when they see each other, and their hand symbol is a finger gun…
Diana went to the Houston airport to fly back to school, when she launched her terrorist attack:
When she was standing bored in the security line, she noticed a guy wearing a Texas Tech sweatshirt. Without thinking about it, she threw up her hand gun symbol to him.
“It’s a cool bonding thing. I tried to make eye contact with him and I throw my hand gun up,” said Diana.
Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder. It was a TSA agent, who pulled her out of line and asked to speak to her. The agent sternly asked for her ID and said she was pulled for making gun symbols in the airport.
“She said, ‘What are you doing? You can’t do that in an airport,” Diana said.
Really? You can’t make hand gestures in an airport? I’d like to see what actual law this TSA agent’s claim is based on. I’m willing to bet it doesn’t exist and if it does, deaf people using sign language are going to be pissed. Even worse, I don’t think David Hasselhoff can get on a plane anymore:
“Oh my gosh, they think I’m a terrorist. Oh my gosh I’m going to jail. I’m just sitting there, almost in tears, like, ‘No, I’m just really dumb, I’m not a terrorist!’” Diana said.
There was definitely some dumb shit going on, but it was from Diana Durkin.
Diana was pulled aside and given extensive additional screening. She was patted down because if she was brandishing one gun finger, she could have had a second gun finger concealed on her person. She was eventually let go with a warning, but the TSA made her promise that she would never flash a Texas Tech “guns up” gesture again.
The TSA has finally caught up with the hysterics that have existed in public schools for years. There is this strange belief that a hand gesture is the same thing as a deadly weapon. I guess you could poke someone’s eye out with a finger gun, but a fist or open hand would be a much more effective way to hurt someone.
I think we can expect some new security protocols before boarding a plane. Now, you will have to tape your fingers together to render your hand incapable of pointing. Hey, its a small price to pay for safety and security. If we let people point in airports, the terrorists win.