Just when you had thought that you have heard it all some crazy-assed story comes out of left field. First there were Donald Trump piñatas and now an aggrieved Hispanic activist has created a butt plug in the likeness of the bombastic billionaire Republican presidential contender. For those who aren’t versed in such crudities, a butt plug is a kinky sex toy that gay men get off on by sticking it up their assholes during sex – gerbils are just soooo 1980’s now. Trump has become a character something like Emmanuel Goldstein who was the sworn enemy of the INSOC party and Big Brother in George Orwell’s classic novel “1984”. Now, no matter their political affiliation everybody is piling on the Donald to stop him now before he takes an an even bigger whoopin’ stick to the establishment’s golden boy “Jeb!”.
While the lamestream media engages in the bipartisan ritual of synchronized Trump bashing reminiscent of Orwell’s “Two Minutes Hate”, Hispanics have a particular ax to grind with the man. It really sucks to them that he is calling it like it is and that the endless flow of wetbacks and scratchbacks that are flowing unimpeded into our country are chock full of criminals including murderers and rapists. This is another story that is just off the freaking chain and liberals are eating it up.
The Huffington Post (where else?) reports that “Donald Trump Butt Plug Now Available For Your Pleasure”:
Fernando Sosa, a 31-year-old Florida artist, is telling the real-estate-mogul-turned-presidential-candidate where to stick it. He has created a butt plug that looks likes the Donald. It’s got everything from his puckered lips to his trademark comb-over.
“I wanted to do something insulting,” Sosa told The Huffington Post. “I like the mental picture of his face going into people’s asses.”
The sex toy was created in reaction to Trump’s last month blasting of Mexico and Mexican immigrants. “They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists,” he said in remarks after launching his presidential campaign.
Sosa used a 3D printer to get Trump’s trademark hair to whip up just right.
“The technology requires a certain thickness and texture on the hair, so duplicating his thin, see-through comb-over was tough,” he said.
They sell for $27.99. Future versions will come with accessories for Trump’s noggin like a snap-on toupee and a piece of artificial poop that will also fit snugly on the head.
As horrific a symbol of the culturally bereft and debauched star-spangled Sodom and Gomorrah that the USA has now become you have to give it to Sosa in at least this is imaginative. But alas the liberals have it all wrong in that by misdirecting their anger at Trump – who is able to call it as it is – that they are missing everyone else who is sticking it up all of our asses with habanero pepper flake lube. Especially their hero Barack Obama who has been fucking them for nearly seven years and they are too damned dumb to see it. Whether Sosa’s grand invention will be mass produced is yet to be announced but I would bet these bad boys will be selling like hotcakes on EBay once the initial batch gets snapped up.
The Trump butt plugs are available on Shapeways.com, it could be an income opportunity to buy low and sell high to the suckers and schmucks to whom having such a thing would be a coveted status symbol.