In a merger of more weird news from Florida and the inherent stupidity of criminals, a meth consumer has launched himself into the frontrunners for dumbass of the month.
Last week, a 49-year-old dimbulb made the blunder of calling the cops to complain that he may have been the victim of deception in a drug deal that he engaged in.
According to reports, Douglas Peter Kelly placed a call to the Putnam County Sheriff’s office to complain that the drugs that he had purchased were having a bad effect on him and as he suspected that he was cheated, wanted to press charges against the dope dealer who sold it to him.
Sensing that they had a live one on the line, the cops offered to test the drugs and then just reeled in this dummy hook, line and sinker.
— Miami Herald (@MiamiHerald) June 14, 2018
Via The Miami Herald, “He had a ‘bad reaction’ to meth — so he asked cops for their help”:
It might not have been the best idea this Florida man ever had.
According to the Putnam County Sheriff’s Office, Douglas Peter Kelly, of Hawthorne, in northern Florida, contacted deputies on Tuesday with a complaint: He said that he thought that he’d been sold bad drugs.
The police report on Facebook states that the man told deputies that he’d purchased methamphetamine about a week earlier and had suffered a “violent reaction,” after taking it.
That’s not all.
The suspect went on to demand that detectives in the narcotics division test it for him to see if it was cut with something or if he’d been sold something else. If Kelly was indeed sold the wrong narcotic, the suspect said he wanted to “press charges” against the dealer.
Deputies told the 49-year-old to come on over to the station and they would oblige him.
The report said “Kelly drove to the sheriff’s office and handed detectives a clear, crystal-like substance wrapped in aluminum foil.
The substance field-tested positive for methamphetamine, the drug Kelly intended to purchase.”
Though Kelly could rest easy knowing he bought the real deal, he was nonetheless arrested.
— Joe Harlow (@JoeMHarlow) June 14, 2018
The Putnam County Sheriff’s Department was so inspired by this sucker that they posted the following on their Facebook page out of the apparent hope that it’s dummy season in Florida.
PUBLIC NOTICE: If you believe you were sold bad drugs, we are offering a free service to test them for you.
Douglas Peter Kelly, 49, of Hawthorne, found himself in a situation where he thought someone sold him the wrong illegal narcotic.
On Tuesday, Kelly contacted the sheriff’s office and said he purchased methamphetamine about a week earlier and had a “bad reaction” after smoking the narcotic.
The suspect said he believed because of the “violent reaction” he had after smoking the drug, he was sold the wrong narcotic. Kelly told detectives in the Drug unit he wanted the substance tested because he wanted to “press charges” on the person who sold him the wrong narcotic.
In an effort to ensure the quality of the drug the suspect purchased, detectives told Kelly if he came to the sheriff’s office they could test the narcotic he purchased.
Kelly drove to the sheriff’s office and handed detectives a clear, crystal-like substance wrapped in aluminum foil.
The substance field-tested positive for methamphetamine, the drug Kelly intended to purchase.
Kelly was arrested and charged with possession of methamphetamine. He was walked to the Putnam County Jail and held on $5,000 bond.
Remember, our detectives are always ready to assist anyone who believes they were misled in their illegal drug purchase.
There may be a website or social media site where law enforcement officers privately share their stories about really dumb criminals for a good chuckle amongst themselves and if it exists, it would probably be safe to assume that this story is on it.