Because you just can’t make stuff like this up…
— New York Post (@nypost) February 15, 2019
Man warns about blowing up Home Depot with bowel movement, cops called
When you gotta go, you gotta go. And that’s something a Home Depot customer in Wichita, Kansas, knows all too well.
In a story that sounds like it could have been published by satirical site The Onion, an unnamed shopper caused a major incident at his local home improvement mega-store when he chose the wrong words to describe his intestinal discomfort.
According to KWCH, Home Depot staff called 911 after a customer reportedly told them that a man had just made a bomb threat in the bathroom. As it turns out, the man did make something of a threat, but not the kind that usually causes law enforcement to take notice.
“We just had a customer here made what may have been a bomb threat,” the caller reportedly told police dispatch.
“He said, uh, somebody told me there’s a bomb in here and you need to leave the building. He said it three times.”
That statement turned out to be a rather rough translation of what the supposed “bomber” actually said. A second witness later revealed that the man told other bathroom goers: “You all need to get out of here because I’m fixin’ to blow it up.”
Read it HERE.
— Boing Boing (@BoingBoing) February 16, 2019
Assman, denied licence plate, displays name across truck’s tailgate
Dave Assman is sticking it to the man by sticking it to the back of his truck.
When Assman (pronounced “Oss-men”) applied for a personalized licence plate, his request was denied. Saskatchewan Government Insurance, which manages vehicle registration, called the name an “unacceptable slogan.”
The Melville, Sask., man has since immortalized his last name on the back of his truck with a large decal that looks like a giant Saskatchewan licence plate.
“It’s just a name, and censorship should be out of the window,” Assman said.
He would still like the licence plate, but he is happy with the decal.
Assman said the government seems to want to “cater” to those who may be offended by the name rather than give him the freedom to display his name.
Looks like Mr. Assman got the last laugh after @SGItweets denied his request for a vanity plate with his last name!
— Taylor MacPherson (@TaylorMacP) February 13, 2019
Read it HERE.
— Michael Snyder (@Revelation1217) January 4, 2019
A Metaphor For America: 700 Pound Man Plans To Eat And Play Video Games While Naked Until He Dies
34-year-old Casey King is so obese that he can’t work, he has to bathe outside in a trough like a pig, and he has to rely on his father to constantly take care of him. He now weighs more than 700 pounds, but he just keeps on eating massive amounts of unhealthy food. Just like America as a whole, he has absolutely no self-discipline and absolutely no desire to turn his life around. On some level he understands that he is literally killing himself with his destructive behavior, but he does not have a desire to change. Instead, he told TLC that he “will just eat until I am dead”…
Featuring in a TLC TV series called Family by the Ton, Casey said: “I will just eat until I am dead, probably.
“I wake up around 12, figure out something I’m going to eat immediately [then it’s] TV, video games, bed — it’s not a lot of activity.”
Because of the hot weather in Georgia he prefers to skip clothes, wearing only a headset through which he uses to chat to other gamers playing online.
It is easy to criticize Casey for his lack of activity, but he is really not too different from most other Americans.
As I have written about before, the average American spends approximately five hours a day watching television. We are willingly plugging ourselves into “the propaganda matrix” for thousands upon thousands of hours, and of course that is going to greatly affect our outlook on life and how we see the world.
But of course most Americans don’t watch television and play video games while naked. But for Casey, clothes have become too restricting and so he just sits on his bed naked all day long…
Read it HERE.
— The Smoking Gun (@tsgnews) February 4, 2019
Police: Woman Battered Beau With Pork Chop
Victim left lacerated after frozen meat struck him
A Florida Woman is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly clobbering her boyfriend in the face with a frozen pork during a dispute Friday night in their residence.
Cops allege that Jennifer Brassard, 48, and her beau were “engaged in a verbal argument” around 9:45 PM when Brassard “threw a frozen pork chop at the victim.” The pork chop, a criminal complaint notes, struck the man below the left eye, causing a half-inch laceration.
After getting hit with the pork chop, the 54-year-old victim fled the couple’s home.
Police arrested Brassard after determining that she was the “primary aggressor” during the domestic confrontation.
Read it HERE.
— eTurboNews (eTN) (@eTurboNews) January 20, 2019
Instagram travel couple were DRUNK when they fell 800ft to their deaths at Yosemite’s Taft Point
The California social media influencers who fell 800ft to their deaths at Yosemite’s Taft Point as they snapped selfies were drunk, an autopsy has revealed.
A toxicology report from Stanislaus County Coroner’s Office showed that Meenakshi Moorthy, 30, and her husband Vishnu Viswanath, 29, were ‘intoxicated with ethyl alcohol prior to death’.
They died ‘of multiple injuries to the head, neck, chest and abdomen, sustained by a fall from a mountain’, the report said.
Dr. Sung-Ook Baik, a forensic pathologist confirmed no drugs were present in their bodies, but laboratory tests found the same element used in common alcoholic beverages beer, wine, hard liquor were present.
‘We can only conclude that they had consumed alcohol but it is unknown to what level of intoxication,’ assistant Mariposa County coroner, Andrea Stewart, told Mercury News in an email on Friday.
The couple, who were Indian expats living in California, died while taking a selfie, Viswanath’s brother had said. Vishnu Viswanath, told the Associated Press that they had set up their tripod near the ledge when they plummeted to their deaths.
Read it HERE.
A giant condom roamed the subway to give out free rubbers for Valentine’s Day. pic.twitter.com/Wpcw0uKjec
— HuffPost (@HuffPost) February 14, 2019